Crossroads Graduate Counts Her Blessings

JeAv-photo-rotated-188x300Jennifer’s been through a lot in the past decade, and it’s not over. Still, she says, “I’ve been blessed.”  Indeed she has — with a great big family, emphasis on “great.” Her parents are still together after 35 years, and she had a good childhood, with two siblings and a large extended family.

Jennifer did start her own family a bit early — she had her first daughter at 16, the second four years later. The relationship didn’t last, but they separated amicably. Eventually, she found a new love — with an old high school sweetheart. Life was good; they planned to marry.

But then everything changed — six months before the wedding date, he hit her. The first punch knocked her out, but he didn’t stop. He might have killed her if someone hadn’t finally pulled him off. Her daughters watched.  The subsequent months and years were filled with reconstructive surgeries and morphine pills. Plus PTSD, depression, anxiety, and sleep apnea. And then addiction to the morphine. And then heroine, when the prescriptions ran out.

In the midst of all the surgeries, Jennifer met the man who would become her “user partner,” and the father of her two sons. They managed to hide their drug use for four and a half years — until Jennifer got in trouble, and went to jail.  Eventually, Jennifer was ordered into a six-month program, and found her way to Maya’s Place. After graduation, Crossroads got her into an apartment, with her boys. But then she let the boys’ father come around — “he brought me back down, and I relapsed.”

Jennifer did the right thing, she admitted it to her probation officer; they sent her back to jail for another month. But during that month, everything changed again. While in jail, Jennifer’s heart stopped — literally. An inmate and an officer administered CPR until the medical team arrived, and she “died” three times on the way to the hospital.  But then, “when I woke up, it was different. I didn’t have the cravings, I wasn’t having user dreams.” Something had shifted, and Jennifer returned with new resolve. In spite of PTSD and pain, she managed to get off all of the drugs. And this time, “everything felt different.”

After jail, Jennifer started aftercare at Crossroads. And today, she’s got all of her children, a loving and supportive partner, a whole community of support at Crossroads, the love and support of her family, even support at work — her boss has been there.  Thing is, she’s also been fighting liver cancer for a year now — without the pain meds, not even ibuprofen. And, she’s helping to care for her dad, who’s learning how to walk and talk again after brain surgery. There’s a lot to deal with.

It’s hard, of course; she breaks down from time to time. But she continues to live life day by day, living it to the fullest with her children and her family. “I’ve been blessed….it’s opened our faith, and brought us close together.”

Written by Mary Bokuniewicz

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